I dislike the term “soft skills.”
Intently.
“Soft” implies easy. You know what is easy? Talking about KPIs, ROIs…anything ending in I.
You know what is hard? Looking in the mirror with a discerning and compassionate eye.
It takes courage to look in the mirror and identify improvements that will make you a better leader. Following through takes guts. Sticking with the discipline of practicing a new habit takes commitment. This work is not for the faint of heart.
This is precisely the hard work that many leaders are being called to do.
A recent study published by McKinsey, reported that more than half of the companies in their survey responded that social and emotional skills are their top priority when it comes to skill building of their teams. This includes leading and managing others, as well as interpersonal and empathy skills.
To get a sense of how important these skills are, consider these questions:
- How do I show empathy while still holding someone accountable for their results?
- How do I push performance without breaking the relationship?
- How do I challenge another’s decision without taking over?
- How do I express my disagreement without shutting someone down?
- How do I coach someone who really doesn’t know what to do?
- How do I build commitment in someone who is complacent?
To lead others, one must first be effective in leading oneself. This is another set of skills that involves self-awareness, self-regulation and self-development. These skills help me as a leader to:
- Clearly recognizing my own preferences and tendencies
- Deeply understanding how these preferences and tendencies enable, and inhibit, my effectiveness
- Knowing alternative strategies that are available to me in the moment when an ineffective tendency arises
- Applying those strategies in the moment successfully
- Reflecting regularly on what I am experiencing and adjusting
While these skills aren’t easy, they are worth the effort.
Technical expertise is table stakes. If you want a leadership role, another concurrent path must be taken in order to succeed – learning the skills to lead a team. This requires social and emotional skills.
When these skills become “soft”, let me know.
