Do you remember receiving feedback that fell flat, left you feeling confused, or perhaps annoyed?

Many team members have stories of receiving feedback that went sideways.

Many leaders experience frustration with giving feedback and seeing it have no impact.

The good news is that these situations can be avoided. Giving feedback is a skill that can be cultivated with awareness, knowledge, intention and practice.

When feedback doesn’t go well, the first place to look is the leader’s delivery. How feedback is given goes a long way in determining whether it will be heard, considered, and adopted and avoiding these six pitfalls will help leaders increase the chance of this happening.

 

Being vague – Leaders are most susceptible to being vague when feedback is difficult to deliver. They back off and become indirect, leaving the other person confused or underestimating the nature of the concern. However, it also happens when praise is given, such as “Great job!”. While that is nice to hear, it gives no information about the specific behaviors that should be repeated.  For feedback to be effective, it must be specific and for it to be specific, if must be direct.

 

Being long winded – Being wordy is another way of backing off from corrective feedback. When a leader talks too much and overexplains, the message gets lost. The effect is the same as being vague. The other person becomes confused, deflated, or misses the point. Being concise assures clarity and increases the level of directness. Sometimes leaders are hesitant or nervous about being direct and worry about the other person’s reaction. However, directness accompanied by respect is candor and that’s not only appropriate but necessary to support a team member’s development. The fact is that most people want to know where they stand, even when it’s hard to hear.

 

Not giving the other person a chance to respond – A common mistake is giving the feedback and then ending the conversation. This misses a significant opportunity to demonstrate respect for the other person. By taking another few minutes to ask what they think about what you said, and genuinely caring about their reply, leaders increase the likelihood that the feedback will be considered. Sincerely seeking the view of the person receiving the feedback increases trust and gives the leader a chance to learn another perspective that could impact their own views. Perhaps most importantly, it shows respect and strengthens the relationship.

 

Waiting too long – One way to put another on the defensive is to bring up something that happened six months ago and expect the other person to address it now. This often occurs in year end performance appraisal discussions. For feedback to have its intended impact, it must be given as soon as practicable after the behavior is observed. This gives the other person the best chance at addressing any performance gaps that were observed. Feedback doesn’t have to be scheduled. When leaders work on making feedback a habit, it gets much easier to give feedback on the fly.

 

Forgetting to identify the impact – This mistake reduces the relevance of the feedback and shortchanges the other person of important information. Sometimes a team member doesn’t have visibility to things happening in the larger ecosystem of their workplace. They may not realize how something they didn’t do well, or on time, has impacted their colleagues or even another team. Similarly, when they do something well, they may not appreciate just how important the action they took, or the behavior they demonstrated, was to the team objectives or team environment. Effective feedback clearly lets one know how they have affected what’s happening around them.

 

Failing to recognize positive changes – Giving feedback and thinking you’re done is a mistake. It’s not something that gets checked off a list. When feedback is viewed as an ongoing opportunity to coach and develop others, then the moment feedback is given is just the beginning. The next step is to consciously look for whether the person is making a change and the moment a leader sees the effort, to say something. Reinforce the behavior you want. Catch the other person doing it right and acknowledge it!  Letting them know they’re on the right track increases the chance you will see more of that behavior in the future.

Do any of these mistakes sound familiar? At least one or two probably do as they’ve happened to most leaders from time to time. Now that you’ve recognized the ones relevant to you, you can adjust.

By avoiding these pitfalls, your feedback will have greater impact on the development of others, and they will know that you cared enough to support their growth.  It’s experiences like these that enable employees to stay longer with their employers instead of thinking that they’d be better off working somewhere else.