The script is the same, regardless of the airline carrier, but if you’re like me, these words jar me every time I hear them.                                                    

In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure, panels above your seat will open revealing oxygen masks. Reach up and pull a mask towards you. Place it over your nose and mouth, and secure with the elastic band that can be adjusted to ensure a snug fit.

Secure your own mask first before helping others.

First, as a mother, this feels like a non-starter. When my child was small, fixing the mask on him would always come first, not because it makes more sense but because I couldn’t bear the moment where I secure my mask as my child looks up, helpless and in dire need of my help. Think about that for a moment. I will risk both of our lives because I can’t bear that instant where I prioritize my survival, even if it ensures the safety of my loved one. Wrong move.

My gut says take care of the people in my charge first. But the  instructions I hear every time I fly come from people who know far more about how to operate in an emergency than I do. Common management thinking is based on the idea that I must take care of others if we are to succeed. Yes, our relationships matter and we need to look out for one another. We revere the bosses who we felt cared about us and mentored us toward successful outcomes in our career and often, in our lives away from the office.

Could we imagine those leaders putting their mask on first?

We should.

The leaders who walk the line between tending to their own needs while supporting those around them have always, in my experience, ranked among the most productive. On the other side of those journeys I find the most compelling leaders are the ones with a healthy sense of self. The highest achievers among them aren’t martyrs and they don’t want martyrs on their team. So, in the interest of leaders and the people who work with them, I urge people to put their mask on first so they can help the people surrounding them. How to do that? Here are some tips.

• Incorporate some form of reflection into your day. Maybe this is as simple as leaving some time in the week that is unscheduled to give yourself an opportunity to get beyond the day to day grind and think of long term plans. Perhaps it is journal writing as a means of expressing thoughts and emotions and gaining clarity. I find a walk in the woods to be a helpful time out. It sparks creativity and reduces stress and it’s even better when I take my dog with me.

• Spend time with family and friends. This helps in remembering what really matters. A Harvard Study on Adult Development confirmed that good relationships help us to stay healthier and happier. This 80 year study is described in the 2015 Ted Talk on What Makes a Good Life
• Nurture both body and mind. Exercise, sleep and good food have a direct impact on energy levels. Add to that the positive mental and emotional effects of meditation which are well researched. I’ve used apps to help build my meditation practice. Check ones like Headspace or Insight Timer. In addition, taking time daily to appreciate what is working well in the day is up lifting. I use this app and it makes having a gratitude practice easy to do. Gratitude

One final thought. I want the pilot of every airplane that carries me to my destination to be fit, alert and clear minded. Leadership requires the same. Ultimately, our futures depends on it.