Most change plans are thorough about the situation so they include plans and resources covering the announcement, the compelling reason for change, the timeline, the FAQ and the talking points for managers. What they rarely cover is what’s happening inside the people who are expected to make the change work.

To consider this aspect, which is always present, we go to the work of William Bridges. Bridges drew a distinction that’s worth highlight: change is the external event—a restructure, a merger, a new platform, a shift in strategy, a new leader at the top. Transition is the internal process people go through to come to terms with it. Change can happen in a day. Transition takes longer, and it’s where resistance to a change can take shape.

Bridges described change transitions in three phases.

Ending/Letting Go: People must to let go of something before they can pick up anything new: a role they were good at, a team they trusted, a set of relationships they valued, a way of working that felt like home.

Neutral Zone: An in-between stage where the old way is gone but the new way isn’t real yet. It’s disorienting and often low on energy and it’s also where people quietly work out how the new way is going to fit them.

New Beginning: When energy returns and people start to feel like themselves again in the new arrangement. They are now seeing real possibilities and gains that can come from change and how they can participate in it.

The catch is that nobody skips straight to the end. Each person spends a different amount of time in each phase. (It’s also worth recognizing as well that the manager and other senior leaders leading the change are moving through these phases too except that they’ve simply been living with the decision longer.) Both the amount of time and the depth of a team member’s experience in each of these phases can be influenced by other factors, especially, one’s direct manager. Someone who hasn’t been able to name what they’re losing will look like they’re resisting the future. Often, they’re just still standing in the past. A manager will likely be the first to see this and the appropriate person to jump in and help with it.

This is the gap in most change plans. The plans tell managers what to say to the team and how to handle the tough questions. They typically miss the mark in preparing managers for the one-to-one conversation about what the change costs this person, nor do they build the skills that such a conversation calls for. It does require interpersonal skill for managers to lead a discussion where they are inquiring without telling, listening without rushing to fix, being candid about what’s needed, working through disagreement, and doing all of this while still moving the change forward.

A manager who can effectively have a discussion like this turns resistance into information and an invitation. A manager who can’t tends to get avoidance, negativity, and superficial “yeses”, resulting in a team that stalls in the Letting Go phase or in the Neutral Zone.

Here are three things a manager can do to help people move through transition more smoothly, and get to the New Beginning sooner:

Name the ending out loud. Ask, “What does this change mean you’re letting go of?” and then listen. There’s no need to argue with the answer you get or hurry past it. It’s about understanding it non-judgementally. Being seen in what they’re giving up can often free people to consider what’s next.

Make the neutral zone legitimate. Say plainly that the messy middle is normal and expected. Set short-horizon goals, check in more often than feels necessary, and invite people to help shape how the change is actually playing out in their day-to-day. Inquire for their views about how they can get involved and come up with specific actions they’re prepared to undertake. Involvement is the fastest route out of stuckness.

Be candid and keep the bar where it is. Seeking to understand someone is not the same as lowering expectations, nor does it mean you are agreeing with everything they say. Be clear about what you need from them and by when, respectfully and without apology. People feel more respected, not less, when you take both their experience and their contribution seriously and even if there are aspects of the change, they disagree with, they’re much more likely to get on board and commit anyways, because they were heard and their views were considered.

Change is no longer a one-time event with a recovery period afterward. It’s the operating condition. That means the skill of talking with a person about what change costs them, what is possible for them, and what you need from them, isn’t a soft extra. It’s how transformation gets across the finish line, with people who feel valued and teams that keep moving. Here is a question for you – who on your team might be still in the Letting Go phase, and have you asked them about it?